Out of all the things to talk about, I need to talk about the one of the things that confuses the hell out of me more than most things!
Love!
As long as I can remember I've watched films and read books that portray the fairy tale type of love as entirely normal, you know the kind, the one where you meet someone and simply know that they're the one. That they are the missing piece of a messed up 3d jigsaw puzzle masterpiece that you've been trying to complete for as long as you can remember.
I know it's a cliche and highly improbable, but hey i'm a romantic.
I've seen this type of love perhaps 6 times at the very most in my 29years, and it's awesome!
Just being around them restores your faith in fairy tales, although when you talk to them separately they both have a moment in their eyes when I could have sworn I sensed what they were really saying was; I could have killed her/him at one point!
Seriously though, to spend a lifetime with someone and not plan their murder just isn't normal!
It's one of the most powerful, confusing, destructive and creative emotions ever to run through our veins and we love it every single time we fall into it. It's no coincidence they call it
"falling in love," it literally swallows you whole.
Is everyone's different? Or are we all looking for the same feeling in a different package?
I remember being in a relationship so destructive that it took away my self confidence and sanity if i'm honest. Nearly everyone's been in those relationships though, haven't they?
Knowing what you want is equally as valuable as knowing what you don't want.
The trouble with those relationships is that we accept the love we feel we deserve, and if we're not in a good place in our heads, well, we think it's all we deserve; which isn't right.
It's easy to get addicted to the wrong type of love.
The type where you argue all day long about things that don't matter, where empathy, communication and understanding are non existent but by night everything is made right with lustful passion.
I think that in order to appreciate the good in life you must have experienced the bad.
I was and I am lucky.
I've fallen in love with an angels, muses and a few devils.
All are incredible, intelligent, vivacious women that have helped shape my hearts perspective of what I want out of love by showing me things about it I never thought existed.
Every single one of them is unique and I count myself blessed to have had them in my life.
Love i think is supposed to be elating; an incredible emotional roller coaster of highs, twists and turns.
A journey so intense with a person you can trust with your darkest secret and your life. A bond so strong that they can tell what you're thinking before you do, which is beautifully scary actually, but that's what it should feel like, you should physically not want to live without that person.
To be able to talk absolute crap to your person till 6am under the stars after one too many bottles of velvet wine but they would be able to understand your crap.
Then watch the sunrise in comfortable silence.
Well, that's my type of love anyway. I know the arguments will be like world war 3 but at least I'd be able to trust that we would both find a way past it.
I guess, as we go along our journey we date awesome people and slightly insane people that shape us and our check list of things we want out of life itself.
There is no type of love that's right. There is only a type of love that's right for you.
They say that you're not looking for someone perfect, you're looking for someone just as messed up as you, which i believe to be too true! We're all messed up in our own special way.
Everyone has a version of love that they feel is right for them but at the end of the day, i think we're all looking for the same thing in different packages: compassion, understanding, adoration, respect, trust, passion, inspiration. Right?
Your person should make you feel like you can fly, not weigh you down.
What have you got to gain and what have you got to lose? Risk being hurt or risk not being really loved.
My point is. SCREW SETTLING FOR SECOND BEST.
Whatever it is that makes you happy, no matter how much you demand on an emotional, psychological or physical level.
Just because you're getting older it doesn't mean that you have to settle for someone and think you can learn to love them. That's not love. That's tolerance.
That's just my personal opinion. I just don't believe in giving up.
Getting old scares me. really scares me.
Getting old and being with someone I don't love with every fiber of my existence doesn't scare me, it makes me sad and drains all the color out of my world. I want to grow old and wrinkly with my person.
So should you.
This is the song that inspired this blog: The Boombox Hearts- Cover me
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